Running up that hill!!!

Running Up That Hill!!! Well I was just listening to this song, by Placebo. And every time I hear this song, it reminds me of the sad face of Ryan after Marissa's death. I must say they chose the filmed the song pretty well. Dark clingy room, Ryan sitting on bed with bandages around his palms still bleeding from a previous match, teary eyes. The look on his face really breaks my heart. I was really happy when Marissa died, but Ryan's face didn't let me enjoy her death well.
I mean I don't get it, why was he even sad, he and Marissa were over for sure a long time back. She got what she deserved. I mean when you date a guy like Volchek you are supposed to get some side effects.
But leave her. I didn't expect something like that from season one. It was so great from starting. I really liked season one better than any other season.
The whole Cohen family Marissa and Summer and then coming of Ryan into their family. The opening line of Ryan when he hits Luke saving Seth's ass in the diner saying, ‘You know what I like about you rich kids *BAM* NOTHING'. That scene was awesome. No it was beyond awesome, it was be-awesome!!
Then it was great when they were going to Tijuana saying they are going to a comic convention. Summer and Seth sleeping on the bed together fighting till the last minute and Marissa waking up in Ryan's arms. That was all mushy gushy stuff but I still liked it. But then they introduced that weird kid, I don't even remember his name now. Whenever things started to work out in those two some new character was introduced with some new kinds of weirdness, like that mental kid, then Theresa, then Johnny or Jamie(I guess) and last Volcheck. I didn't mention the random gardeners or mailmen or pool boys which came in between.
Well it was a series I must say according to news which got worse season by season and thank god they ended it. But I don't know why still I liked it till the end. o.O

I am no Superman!!!!

“I am no Superman”
This one line can save you from many problems. I would not be wrong if I say that it could have saved millions from the trouble. Just one line. Lets take history first!! Well I have no idea why many people talk about history first and then talk about present. Is it right in giving more importance to past then present. “I don’t know, I am no superman.” Anyways back to past.
Scenario I
Atlas is asked to lift earth on his shoulders. He could have easily said, ” I am no superman”. God would have devised some other way to hold earth in mid air or there would have been no earth. End of all miseries. Just one line.
Scenario II
Atlas asked Hercules to take over as earth bearer for a fraction of second. Had Hercules said, “I am no superman. I can’t do this”. Atlas would have died under the weight due to shoulder dislocation or something worse in the absence of that much required rest. Again earth falls down, rolls through the universe, hits some random star numbered XCVIII and boom! End of all miseries.
Scenario III
Somebody asked somebody, ” Can you make a atom bomb?”. The man in white coat replies, “What do you think I am..Superman. I am a scientist, I am no superman.”. NO BOMBS. Peace in world. We lived happily ever after.
Scenario IV
I am in shopping mall, girlfriend asks me, ” Hey honey, Can you lift all these bags?”. I have a look at the bags. Well if carry all these, mall would run out of supply. So I take decision. “Honey, I am no superman. Find one if you want one as boyfriend. “. BREAK UP. Single status is nice. Nice is good.

Scenario V
Aliens (Brothers of Superman) attack earth. Arnold Schwarzenegger has already died. Aliens ask for surrender. What will you do? Dig earth deeper and deeper for kryptonite or its homologue. I say, just tell one thing, ” We are no superman!!”. Aliens understand that we are useless, do their risk to benefit analysis. Board their flying bicycles and leave for next planet. Earth is saved again.This time without Arnold!!

Delhi Heights!!!

Well I was really having a good day. My semester ended three days ago, waiting desperately for exams. So that I can go home, my Delhi, I never thought that I would ever be the one to say this, but I really do miss Delhi. It just never occurred me before that I will be missing Delhi, those streets, my latecomer best friend, my nana ji, that little newspaper stand or that book stall, blue line(gosh how I even miss that), I miss my siblings,oh god I can give anything just to talk with them. I always thought that what I will be missing will be the sight of her desperately waiting for we two junk heads at the bus stop, and then telling me when I reach up to her, 'I swear I am gonna slap prat today' and then you give me that mischievous little smile that can send me to another planet.; but now I realise these are the things I don’t miss anymore. I used to but not now. Now I see you as a friend, thank god for that o:)

So I was telling I wanna go home, feel the depth of my mom's hug, my father's eyes shouting loudly,"mera beta aaya hai, aaj se masti shuru"(oh man I miss you dad!! You too mom!!), my brother's pat on my shoulders', my sisters' sarcastic comments, lol never thought that would happen. My 'tau' 'tai' believe me I practically owe my life to all these people, for making me who I am, for giving me a motive to live, for just everything.

I don’t get it, why people always have to realise importance of things when they no longer have them??? Just like Rachel realises she loves Ross when he was marrying someone else??? Why heathcliff did realise Catherine’s love for him only after her death???

Well life's so screwed up for sure. And above all these mood swings I have, they are just too freaking great!!! One moment I am happy and other moment I am sad just for no matter, thinking about the future, what that dark hole holds for me, and I start losing my control, what if things don’t go as I planned??? What if I fail everyone???

Well that’s the kind of stuff that bums me out.

 Well my laptop tells me its 3:42, with the voice of Louis Armstrong telling me 'what a  wonderful world '  it is ,i shouldn't even be awake till this time, have to present before a jury tomorrow morning by 10, but i guess that doesn't help.

i dont know whats in the voice of this guy, but he nearly made me realise what a wonderful world it is, but then music stepped aside 'To the end of line' by metallica. what are the odds of happening that??? louis opened up for metallica. lol.

well i guess i am gonna leave it here, get some sleep, have a lot of work for tomorrow.:)

I am not UPSET!!!!! I just don't know!!!

Well to be precise, I am not upset. I don’t know y everybody have been asking me that question today. Can’t a guy just be silent and mind his own work??? Or he always has to use sarcasm to shield his emotions??? I really wasn’t upset until you asked me and now I am upset, you got what u wanted, happy!!!

All these questions always lead me to the part, where I have to think which surely I don’t want to think. And that is what made me upset. Well it’s all because of a little minx of a girl I like, I haven’t talked to her in around two weeks now, I guess. And now she is not replying my messages, which is absolutely right on her part because that’s what I did two weeks ago. She just doesn’t understand, I was angry and I never want to hurt her. Even the thought of hurting her hurts me. It was totally her fault, she knows I have been in love with her for past FIVE years, and after that I am telling her with the best way I can tell, and she says that’s so sweet, I am speechless; I just want you in my life forever. and then I ask her what she means by that, I mean u can say that to a friend too, I knew a friend I always say that to her. This kind of sentences you say to friends only. Why can’t she be just straight forward, yes or no? I guess she is not the member of that facebook group if you love me let me know, if don’t then plz let me go. And that kind of answer bounds you to think that the person doesn’t like you, so you tend to get over them. Which is the same thing I was doing, so what was wrong in that. Now you are not talking to me just when I am dying to just hear your voice, I can walk right over to Delhi if you say you want to meet me. And girl you that I can do that more or less, most of the times I have came to Delhi in between were just because we had plans to follow. One time it was just for a stupid movie, I don’t even remember which; I had to come the same day costing me quite a treasure and parents scolding. But I didn’t mind all those things because I just had this wonderful time with you.

I just want to ask you this you are you angry, when I am just another friend to you???Why are you not answering my calls and texts??? And why am I sitting here with this tremendous guilt (which I shouldn't have) eating poppins from past one hour???

I know you won’t answer any of these questions. You don’t even care what I write about; you don’t give a crap about my blog. I don’t even know what matters to you. Even after knowing so much about you, all I know is nothing!!!

You want to know how I am feeling right now, it hurts just to know that there is not going to be thing like 'US' tomorrow. It hurts just to accept that now I can do anything more than just loving you forever. Whether are together or apart, you will always be the girl of my life, and I will always envy the man you will win your heart. Even though I have always thought that it was my destiny to be that guy, but hell what can I do, if I am not that guy. Just believe me, if we never see each other again, and you are walking out one day and you feel a certain presence beside you that would be me loving you, from where I am.

I don’t know how to end this blog confession post or whatever it is, so I am just going to go.

Fallling. . .

How many roads have I wandered?

None and each my own

Behind me the bridges have crumbled

No question of return

Nowhere to go but the horizon

Where, then, will I call my home?

Nowhere to go but the horizon

Where, then, will I call my home?

How many roads have I wandered?

None and each my own

Behind me the bridges have crumbled

Where, then, will I call my home?

Where, then, will I call my home?

Where, then Will I call My home?

Someday

The wind will change and you will see me

Clearly

One day

But that's a million someday from today

Lately

The sunshine makes a different shape

Around me

Lately

My music has a different sound

To show me

Oh, lately

I ask questions of the world

But no one's listening

Falling, falling, falling

Or am I flying?

Flying, flying, flying

Or am I falling?

Falling, falling

Falling, falling, falling

Or am I flying?

What is Life???

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we should dance.

Life isn’t about keeping score. It’s not about how many people call you and it’s not about who you have dated, are dating or haven’t dated at all. It isn’t about who you have kissed, which game you play or which guy or girl likes you. It’s not about your shoes or your hair or colour of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it’s not about your grades, money, clothes or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that.

 But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. Its about trust happiness and compassion. Its about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy , overcoming  ignorance and building confidence. Its about what you say and what you mean. Its about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use, your life to touch someone else’s life in such a way that could never been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life’s about.

The awkward feeling

Well this one I am writing from my class so I don’t know for how long I would be able to write. . .I don’t know what has happened to me. . .I am feeling such hollow inside. . .it’s not a feeling that I feel usually. . .but it is somewhat that can turn your gloomy morning into a sad one. . .o.O. . .bad, isn't it???

well I guess I will be okay in some time. . .I always do. . .so better just avoid the cussing part, coz its going to do no good. . .but ya sure it gives you a illusion of feeling some better. . .

it had been so long I guess now I have been writing here. . .and I have never told anything about myself. . .so I think I am going to today. . .I am a just a simple guy with lot of acquaintances but less friends. . .practically I think I cannot and I don’t even trust more than five or six ppl in my life. . .and I found that very disturbing. . .think about it. . .you spend your school life with a bunch of people but in the end you don’t remember your name and neither do they. . .what’s the benefit of this living when u were not even been able to make your name recognise to someone. . .what the benefit of this hollow life. . .are we just here to live our life. . .maybe marry someone so that we have some more people joined to our and their lives. . .but in the end no one remembers each other. . .you don’t even have to wait till the end to realise that. . .you can realise that just now also. . .take out your seventh standard school pic or anything just before that or tenth standard. . .and try naming everyone. . .you wouldn't quite remember your supposedly friend's name from those innocent 30 faces. . .and it’s not only your case they will be missing out your name too. . .coz that is what we are reaping in our lives nowadays. . .just do this hollow routine. . .of studying, getting job, getting married, children. . .and then the same shit starts for them. . .just same shit different generation. . .

You would ask me if we don’t so that then what do we do??? and I would say nice question, , ,that’s what I was waiting for. . .we are supposed to do that I get that. . .but can’t be have a little fantasy of ours, a little safe haven for us that for once in life I would do that. . .and make my children do too. . .just for getting out of this rut or life as we call it. . .like I have been thinking a lot these days. . .that once I get enough money to get a caravan. . .I would go on the road for at least three months. . .staying away from this chaos. . .I don’t know if I would ever do that. . .that if I would be able to break those bonds free. . .but I know for sure that feeling of knowing that I want to do that will keep me sane for a while and help in nit turning in those mechanical ppl. . .who work, eat, sleep. . .

I think I want to be like my parents. . .who still have enough time not only for me but for our family, the whole big old family,. . .in this chaotic word. . .they taught me everything they learned about our culture, our life. . .but as how much I wanted to remember all that but I can’t. . .but I try every now and then coz one thought strikes me like a hammer on hot iron. . .that if they tried teaching me 100% and I wanted to learn 100% but got only 10%. . .then what this information I am going to pass along to my children. . .coz I would only be able to pass the 10% share and if they are not willing to learn, what will happen to the traditions and culture and ideologies of our generation. . .

I guess the 10% rule of science works in life also . . . o.O!!! Never thought about that earlier . . . huh . . . well I bet I have. . .

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Crow's Zero III

Well i guess we had a crow’s zero in our college too. . .it was kinda not that intense like that Korean movie. . .it was intense in verbal part only. . .but ya some fight also happened. . .everybody got hit and also hit somebody. . .some of my calmest friends went to jail for it also. . .but i guess that fight was necessary. . .well lemme explain everything frm the beginning. . .one week ago some guys came to two frnds of mine and started messing with them. . .and started forcing the girl to sleep with them. . .not figuratively but literally. . .other one took mobile phone and wallet frm the guy. . .robbing them of money was ok but they really stepped forward when they forced the girl. . .i can’t even write here how much angry i was then. . .we complained to the authorities. . .but no result came . . .we still were silent. . .but after one week the day finally arrived. . .when the guy actually spotted one of those low-lives and we just went there to talk to him. . .just ask his name and department. . .so that we can file a complaint against him. . .but he was not one of those who speak silently. . .he called his friends. . .and we called ours. . . everything was goin quietly but them some of us start pushing us. . .and then it got more and more rough. . .they started pushing my frnd i pushed one of them and then somebody just punched me. . .i got agitated by the pain and agony. . .the old anger of that day erupted. . .and i punched some guy direct on face. . .my hand is still aching frm that incident. . .my frnds saw me beaten up by a bunch of guys and stepped forward. . .those two were like the calmest person i ever knew. . .one of them punched the molester guy so hard that it started bleeding. . .somebody called the police. . .it was chaos everywhere. . .since they were bleeding they were thought victims. . .and some of us got caught by police. . .u knw wats the best part it was 70 of us against 200 guys and still we were only arrested. . .police didn’t even considered that assaulting a girl is a crime. . .but fighting to save your ass is a crime. . .fighting to save your friend is a crime. . .asking for your money and mobile phone back is a crime. . .well it went well but some of our guys got into jail for it. . .this shit was also in the news. . .well not on our side to warn u guys off. . .but yeah it was still on news. . .here’s a link of that newspaper. . .read it guys. . .u will find out that the punch of a single guy is compared to iron rod there. . ."http://www.hindu.com/2010/03/06/stories/2010030663910500.htm

well....umm...no comments...

well fellas m bak...or to say well hello nowhere m bak again...writing here is so much fun...the best part is that i knw noone is reading...so i can vent out my feelings here...or to say most precisely i just come here to vent my feelings only...no offense fellas...its just the truth...previously i have wrote some stuff that if i had said at those ppl's face i would have surely banished from the group...so today i am not gonna bitch bout somebody coz i simply grew up small thnings doesnt matter me anymore...today i am in for a introspection...lets see wat i did so far this year...this year i made a resolution of letting go of things and ppl...so far soo good...i really got overmany things this past whole month... i wont believe it that i actually did it...but yeah i did it...and m really happy with my progress...i wouldnt have actually made that resolution if i was happy with some ppl and their habits...but nw those things dont even matter...i have got ppl of greater importance to think of...

Greater Good!!!