I am not UPSET!!!!! I just don't know!!!

Well to be precise, I am not upset. I don’t know y everybody have been asking me that question today. Can’t a guy just be silent and mind his own work??? Or he always has to use sarcasm to shield his emotions??? I really wasn’t upset until you asked me and now I am upset, you got what u wanted, happy!!!

All these questions always lead me to the part, where I have to think which surely I don’t want to think. And that is what made me upset. Well it’s all because of a little minx of a girl I like, I haven’t talked to her in around two weeks now, I guess. And now she is not replying my messages, which is absolutely right on her part because that’s what I did two weeks ago. She just doesn’t understand, I was angry and I never want to hurt her. Even the thought of hurting her hurts me. It was totally her fault, she knows I have been in love with her for past FIVE years, and after that I am telling her with the best way I can tell, and she says that’s so sweet, I am speechless; I just want you in my life forever. and then I ask her what she means by that, I mean u can say that to a friend too, I knew a friend I always say that to her. This kind of sentences you say to friends only. Why can’t she be just straight forward, yes or no? I guess she is not the member of that facebook group if you love me let me know, if don’t then plz let me go. And that kind of answer bounds you to think that the person doesn’t like you, so you tend to get over them. Which is the same thing I was doing, so what was wrong in that. Now you are not talking to me just when I am dying to just hear your voice, I can walk right over to Delhi if you say you want to meet me. And girl you that I can do that more or less, most of the times I have came to Delhi in between were just because we had plans to follow. One time it was just for a stupid movie, I don’t even remember which; I had to come the same day costing me quite a treasure and parents scolding. But I didn’t mind all those things because I just had this wonderful time with you.

I just want to ask you this you are you angry, when I am just another friend to you???Why are you not answering my calls and texts??? And why am I sitting here with this tremendous guilt (which I shouldn't have) eating poppins from past one hour???

I know you won’t answer any of these questions. You don’t even care what I write about; you don’t give a crap about my blog. I don’t even know what matters to you. Even after knowing so much about you, all I know is nothing!!!

You want to know how I am feeling right now, it hurts just to know that there is not going to be thing like 'US' tomorrow. It hurts just to accept that now I can do anything more than just loving you forever. Whether are together or apart, you will always be the girl of my life, and I will always envy the man you will win your heart. Even though I have always thought that it was my destiny to be that guy, but hell what can I do, if I am not that guy. Just believe me, if we never see each other again, and you are walking out one day and you feel a certain presence beside you that would be me loving you, from where I am.

I don’t know how to end this blog confession post or whatever it is, so I am just going to go.