Well this one I am writing from my class so I don’t know for how long I would be able to write. . .I don’t know what has happened to me. . .I am feeling such hollow inside. . .it’s not a feeling that I feel usually. . .but it is somewhat that can turn your gloomy morning into a sad one. . .o.O. . .bad, isn't it???
well I guess I will be okay in some time. . .I always do. . .so better just avoid the cussing part, coz its going to do no good. . .but ya sure it gives you a illusion of feeling some better. . .
it had been so long I guess now I have been writing here. . .and I have never told anything about myself. . .so I think I am going to today. . .I am a just a simple guy with lot of acquaintances but less friends. . .practically I think I cannot and I don’t even trust more than five or six ppl in my life. . .and I found that very disturbing. . .think about it. . .you spend your school life with a bunch of people but in the end you don’t remember your name and neither do they. . .what’s the benefit of this living when u were not even been able to make your name recognise to someone. . .what the benefit of this hollow life. . .are we just here to live our life. . .maybe marry someone so that we have some more people joined to our and their lives. . .but in the end no one remembers each other. . .you don’t even have to wait till the end to realise that. . .you can realise that just now also. . .take out your seventh standard school pic or anything just before that or tenth standard. . .and try naming everyone. . .you wouldn't quite remember your supposedly friend's name from those innocent 30 faces. . .and it’s not only your case they will be missing out your name too. . .coz that is what we are reaping in our lives nowadays. . .just do this hollow routine. . .of studying, getting job, getting married, children. . .and then the same shit starts for them. . .just same shit different generation. . .
You would ask me if we don’t so that then what do we do??? and I would say nice question, , ,that’s what I was waiting for. . .we are supposed to do that I get that. . .but can’t be have a little fantasy of ours, a little safe haven for us that for once in life I would do that. . .and make my children do too. . .just for getting out of this rut or life as we call it. . .like I have been thinking a lot these days. . .that once I get enough money to get a caravan. . .I would go on the road for at least three months. . .staying away from this chaos. . .I don’t know if I would ever do that. . .that if I would be able to break those bonds free. . .but I know for sure that feeling of knowing that I want to do that will keep me sane for a while and help in nit turning in those mechanical ppl. . .who work, eat, sleep. . .
I think I want to be like my parents. . .who still have enough time not only for me but for our family, the whole big old family,. . .in this chaotic word. . .they taught me everything they learned about our culture, our life. . .but as how much I wanted to remember all that but I can’t. . .but I try every now and then coz one thought strikes me like a hammer on hot iron. . .that if they tried teaching me 100% and I wanted to learn 100% but got only 10%. . .then what this information I am going to pass along to my children. . .coz I would only be able to pass the 10% share and if they are not willing to learn, what will happen to the traditions and culture and ideologies of our generation. . .
I guess the 10% rule of science works in life also . . . o.O!!! Never thought about that earlier . . . huh . . . well I bet I have. . .
